Friday, October 14, 2011

Sunshine go away today, I don't feel much like dancin'

You know, sometimes it's just one of those days. low. and you find yourself at the bottom of everything. totem poll. food chain. surrounded by nothing but rocks. Familiar or not, the scenery just isn't welcoming.
Every once in a while I found myself down there; face-first on pavement, exhausted. Why is falling so tiring? I try to flex my bruised knees and scrabble back to my feet, hoping that no one saw my humiliation.
Sometimes we just fall; trip over our own shoelaces, can't get our foot all the way up on the next step. We slip on an unexpected surface or walk into a pole while we're looking down.
Some days we find ourselves crying on our best friend's couch, eating too much chocolate. and we hide this shamefully. why? because we are afraid of being weak? of being human?
no, I'm not really talking about you- I'm talking about me.

These past few weeks have brought me from the highest to the lowest and then tossed me sometime right in the middle. I'm still falling, not really sure where I'm going to land.

But, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every bad day, there is a whole week of good ones. Days where you're just excited about everything, about life, about potential. Moments when your stomach get's all fluttery and twisted and you end up standing there with a ridiculous grin on your face. pure happiness, not for any particular reason, just because. My own smile just brings on another one, and another. Those days, sunshine makes me feel beautiful.
and so, I think sometimes we have to go down, just so we can come back up.

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