proportionality.

Sometimes all you need is to stand on the edge of a large body of water and just feel, small.  Sometimes you need a lot more than that.  Perhaps the Great Salt Lake isn't big enough.

"Everything is AMAZING, and nobody is happy"

They say that living in Provo, UT is like being inside of a bubble.  That's not really a good thing, seeing as we aren't talking about soap bubbles or bubble gum, but it's a bubble nonetheless, a very small suffocating bubble, one that I quite often find myself enclosed in, and I can't quite remember how long I've felt trapped.  But when I come to this realization, notice my complacent captivity in this mythical sphere of fake blondes, misperceived perfection, and deceiving superficiality, I have to make a dramatic escape.  It took me an hour and a half to travel from Salt Lake City, Utah to Oakland, California; that's it, a cat nap (in honor of my roommates infatuation for cats) and a few chapters in my book and I had traveled out of this bubble and into a surreal weekend.  Sometimes I don't feel like I'm really living my own life, sometimes it takes me a moment to take a breath and realize that everything around me IS amazing and that I should be happy.  That realization makes me smile because I am happy.  And sometimes one just needs to step out of their bubble, take a little vacation, and see that their is life outside of Provo.
And when I did this, I found myself in a whole different world.  I found myself in the middle of a brand new city to explore and found myself in love with it.  I found myself in a car full of hipsters listening to European electronica.  I found myself taking a deep breath of crisp and humid ocean air after splashing through frigid waves.  I found myself laughing, uncontrollably at everything.  I found myself watching a movie about super heros.  I found myself sitting out under the stars with a best friend, talking about everything and anything.  I found myself comfortable, relaxed, happy.  And then I found myself back in Provo, back in the bubble, back to work, back to reality.  But it's nice to realize every once in a while that even living in a bubble, even sometimes letting myself be content in that bubble, I'm not stuck.

Everyday.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "do one thing everyday that scares you".  Yesterday, I squashed two spiders so I could get in the shower without them.  I think that was just about enough terror for the week.